Mid-Life Crisis?

I feel as if I’m too young to admit that I may be going through a mid-life crisis. But this is exactly what it feels like!

Why I feel I’m going through a mid-life crisis…

At 28-years-old, I haven’t begun to start a career yet. As a matter of fact, I don’t even know what I want to do as a career. Interior designer or a psychologist, at one point even becoming a teacher were my dreams say 15 years ago. I would have told you I would be married with at least one child by now, because we would’ve spent a year or two traveling and having fun.

Well, let me be very honest with you. THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED! I am married to a wonderful man, we do have one child together and two other amazing children. Did we get that time to travel before the children, no?! I got pregnant and then we got married a little after her first year. I’m not upset, disappointed, or mad of any of this. This is the way it was supposed to happen. What I am upset with myself about is I haven’t found my calling.

My calling…

I would love for someone, anyone to tell me what they see as my calling. I’ve never felt that I have any talents that exceed another. Not to toot my own horn, I’m good at a lot of things, and I’m completely all over the place. I’m crafty, a little fashionable at times (hey I am a mom), I love organizing, I love planning/creating events, I LOVE shopping (it doesn’t even have to be for me or my money), and the list goes on. Well unless you know someone who knows someone those aren’t going to get me very far in making a living off of them off the bat. I need a job that’s going to pay the bills as well.

How do I Cope…

This is seriously hard for me. I wasn’t the most popular person in school, but my classmates knew me. As a cheerleader, band member, etc. in school, being able to do things came easy for me. It’s a daily reminder when I get to work and someone emails me or says something that reminds me that this is not what I am put on Earth to do. I have bad days, like I am today. Sitting at my desk, I cried for about 3-5 minutes, texted my amazing co-blogger, an old co-worker, and my husband and they all said something that helped and hurt. Were they trying to hurt me, NO! Sometimes hearing you have to go out there and put yourself out there is hard for people like me.

Technically not an extrovert, but I don’t necessarily identify with being labeled an introvert. Selling my talents isn’t easy. I tend to internalize how I feel until I can’t hold it in any more. Internalizing like this causes spurts where I have mini panic/anxiety attacks or I just sit in a room and just cry my eyes out. People around me are doing what they love, and here I am sitting here with a job. At the end of the day, I have family and friends that support me in whatever my newest thought process of what I want to do. I try not to let them down.

The Epiphany of it all…

He may think that I don’t listen to him, but I do. My husband said to me the other day, plenty of people don’t know what they want to do with their lives. You aren’t the only one, and one day you will figure out what is is. It’s okay not to know what you want to do with your life. What’s going to happen in your life will happen when God wants it to happen. We have to be willing to go through the struggle to truly enjoy the joy.

Writing on this topic, I hope that someone else knows that they aren’t alone. The aren’t only one sitting at that desk, cubicle, office, factory line, etc. realizing their full potential BUT not knowing where or what to use it on. There are life coaches and career services out there that can help, and of course are willing to help.