Baby, No More!

So this summer Bailey turned 5 years old. I literally locked myself in the bathroom and had a good cry that my baby was hitting the age of not being a baby anymore. I amped myself up on taking off her first day of kindergarten and watching her through the window to make sure she was okay. Yes, I’m that mom. She is the only child that I gave birth to, and I want nothing but the best for her.


Meet & Greet


The day came for us to the school and check everything out. I was late of course meeting Bailey and her daddy at the school. By the time I got there from work they had signed me up for PTO (I still don’t know what the “O” stands for, it was PTA when I was growing up) and had already met her teacher. So, being the researcher that I am, I searched through their calendar. I found that the kindergartners did half days last year. So I was under the assumption she would be going to school everyday.


Well, we get there and we find out they do a staggered schedule. This means she goes to school one day the first week with a 3 or 4 of her other classmates. They say it is to acclimate them to the school and their new schedules, as well as complete assessments. I’m not a big fan of this, but it may have something to do with the fact that I was not aware of this until the Meet & Greet. She loved her true first day of school and didn’t want to go back to daycare for the remainder of the week. This let me know that she at least has someone who cares about her. I could tell from meeting her teacher that she is going to have a blast this year.


The Major First Day


So guess what, I didn’t shed a tear. Like I was extremely proud of myself for keeping my composure. I won’t lie, my eyes got a little watery when she told us bye-bye and I had to remind her that I wanted my hugs and kisses like always. She also had to be reminded to give her mommy a kiss and hug. It was like she became such a big girl that she didn’t care that mommy didn’t want to leave. Bailey didn’t care that I wanted to sit and watch her in this new element. When she came home and was extremely happy, but couldn’t remember anything about what happened while she was there. I drilled her on everything I could think about and then some. She said she didn’t remember and by her tone I could tell she wanted me to leave her alone as much as possible.


The Realization


I thought I would be a puddle of mess, I was not. I psyched myself out, I was just fine knowing that she was going to be okay. We have been sending her to daycare since she was old enough to go. I had to go back to work, even though I wish I didn’t. My beautiful baby girl, is now a beautiful big girl. She is my princess. She is intelligent, intuitive, sympathetic, loving, caring, annoying, charismatic, driven, empathetic, full-blown diva, fashionable, sassy, smart-mouthed, and the list could go on and on. She’s growing up and although I would like for her to be my little baby forever, she can’t.


Parents we have to realize when it’s time to let go and stop hovering over them. I’m not saying kick them out and let them fly off in the world. Allow them to walk a few steps ahead and see how they handle certain things. We will not always be able to protect them from this world, which means they have to learn to maneuver through this crazy place. I will be as involved if not more now that she is in elementary school. The teacher will know and probably get tired of my husband and I for making sure everything is on the right path. This is all new for me, and it’s new for her. We have to trust each other to make the best of it.


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