Am I a Good Mother?
The judgement, the comments, the advice. All of these things come with being a mother.
No matter what you do, what you say, or how you you decide to parent there is always that one. That one who thinks that you aren’t doing something the way they would. They don’t have to always say it, their actions show it sometimes. People sometimes forget that they aren’t you, and that you are doing the best you can. They may mumble or make a “hmph” after you have mentioned something. Then you have those that say what they truly feel.
Not all children all created equal, so parenting them is the same way. Yes, there are plenty of Parenting Guides out in the world that help you through this amazing job. But just like there are plenty of guides, children vary. Each child comes with their own quirk, specialty, disability, etc. and you have to learn what works for them. Parenting guides were written and published just as such, guides. It’s okay not to agree with the way someone parents their children, but you have to remember it is just that. THEIR CHILD(REN)!!
Comments will come a dime a dozen. Everyone has one, but it isn’t always needed. Just like judgement, comments come from all sides. The difference (to me) between the judgement and comments are the person. Only parents can truly judge how someone is parenting. Parents at least know what other parents MIGHT be going through. It’s those that have never given birth, raised a child, etc that make comments, that are rough. They feel the need to have an opinion about the way you decide to raise your children AND voice it. You see I’m okay with people having an opinion. Trust me I have plenty! What I do not agree on is touching and voicing said opinion on topics you have not experienced. So to make it easy, just let certain opinions stay in your head or in your inner circle.
Let me start off by saying advice can be good, some even great. I love sharing stories about my little one and certain things we did with her. On the same token too much advice that isn’t asked for is bad. Any advice from those that you don’t know and have not asked for is horrible. Remember that advice is something that is given to help those in need. Positive energy only, when negativity is added it becomes a comment or judgement. Some people don’t understand that sometimes what they feel is advice, isn’t advice.
In the end you have to realize that everything you hear isn’t for you. You have learned roles from your parents, family, friends, books, and now social media, the list continues. You get one chance at be a parent to that child, it doesn’t have to be perfect, just make sure you are doing the best that you can do. Never allow someone to make you second guess how you are doing as a mother, let alone a parent/caregiver. One day at a time is all it takes.