What’s this about “Blend” book about?
Blend is a book written by Mashonda Tifrere. For those who don’t know who that is, she is Swizz Beats ex-wife. In the book she gives insight on what makes her co-parenting lifestyle work the way it does. There is an amazing foreword by her co-parent and friend Alicia Keys and a chapter to fathers written by Swizz Beats. This book is absolutely amazing.
This book is a look into how I would love my life to be. I sometimes wish that we were closer to our other kids, but I just can’t take the cold. The relationship that Mashonda, Swizz, and Alicia have works because they worked individually on self before they could become the unit they are and that we see today. They see each other weekly and sometimes more than that. One parent is able to drop the kids off at school in the morning and the other can pick them up if they wanted too. Those are some of the perks of living in the same city/area.
Getting Herself Together
But let me rewind a bit. Mashonda talks about healing herself after their marriage didn’t work. She had to find herself. I think this is the case with a lot of recently divorced/separated parents I see. They don’t take time for themselves. They don’t build themselves back to where they need to be. When you are with someone and a child is involved, you don’t lose yourself, BUT you did compromise to make sure things work. Sidenote: She talks about Alicia NOT being a homewrecker. She and Swizz were over before they got together. But getting herself together allowed her to grow in ways that she was going to need in order to work with her co-parents.
This book has opened my eyes on how biological moms feel. It made me take a step back and realize that sometimes biological moms get a bad rep. Sometimes those moms need someone to understand how they feel, to help them get themselves together. And in many cases they are the ones raising a child while the dad is moving on and seems to be having a blast. But moms have now become a single parent household, deal with a child that doesn’t or can’t express how they feel about the change, and keep everything going.
Seeing a therapist had to be one of my favorite things that she did that I read about. And she didn’t just go, but went through the process. She took time and did research on what would be helpful to her needs.
Going Through the Process
I think it was absolutely amazing that they, meaning Mashonda, Swizz, and Alicia, got to the point where they knew and understood that they couldn’t work things out on their own. So they decided to bring in a mediator. They ended up making a decision to make his uncle their mediator because he wouldn’t pick sides. But they set rules from the beginning for those mediation discussions. It didn’t happen over night, but they worked to get on the same path. Using a variety of ideas and self love, they reached the path together. I must say I am in awe knowing how she felt at first to her new look on their path in the present.
Swizz’s chapter was insightful. It’s very rare to see and hear from the males point of view of things. He acknowledged how his mind had to be framed differently in order for things to work out the way they do now. Seeing how they all work together in efforts to make sure that the child involved was not only taken care of financially but emotionally.
What did I not like?
Although this book is amazing, and a great read for anyone in a co-parenting relationships, I wish it was more. And there isn’t more that she could add because this is her experience. But I’ve searched and searched and it’s hard to find a book on co-parenting from the bonus/stepparent side of things. I would like to read an insightful book on how a person who is helping to raise children they did not add any of their biological DNA to and kicking ass while doing so. I think that’s the one part missing from the Bonus/Step Parent genre of Blended Families. And before ya’ll get to yaking, I’m not right one to write this book, I still have plenty to learn and figure out. lol
I also wished that Alicia and Swizz parts were a little longer and explained more. The book is such an easy read, that adding a few pages to Swizz and actually giving Alicia a chapter and not just a foreword would’ve been fine.
I hope you all enjoyed this very brief review of the book. It’s a good read, and I think those that are going through this will enjoy it. She has plenty of resources that are listed in the book, and she gives you the details or full names of the books/interviews that she had with some of the professionals in this book. If you have any questions that you would like to ask about the book feel free to shoot me an email.