The world knows that I love my babies! I love each one of them dearly. Our baby is my sour patch kid. We fight one minute and the next she’s back to being my BFF. As I mentioned earlier, she is a daddy’s girl. Which for me means that she takes up time from my husband even more than she should. But WE both need a break from each other, at times. I know everyone doesn’t have the support I have, but what I’m about to say can help you and your relationship.
SHIP YOUR KID OFF! I know it may sound bad. And this isn’t for those that are dropping your child off every weekend with their grandparents. Bailey spends roughly a month each summer with my parents; and this past year she spent a week with her dads parents. You all don’t understand how much this time is sooo important for us. When we first got married we lived in Cincinnati, and didn’t have a support system like we were used to. We couldn’t just leave her with anyone that said they would keep her. She wasn’t able to fully tell us if something was wrong. But that month off is amazing for us. She gets a chance to spend time and get to know her grandparents since we aren’t in the same city or state with them. But for our marriage it is so much more.
Headaches of Date Night
It’s hard planning a date night. Things change even if you have a designated time each week or month set aside. Kids get sick, you have to go out-of-town for work, you get sick, emergencies happen, just a lot of stuff comes up. You have to hire a babysitter or find someone in your family to keep them.
For us, we have friends that don’t mind keeping her, but you don’t want to over do it. So in our plans and budget for a night out we have to include fees for a babysitter. We have to make sure the babysitter and/or friends are available when we are available to go out. It’s just so much that you have to got through to make that you can go out, and then while you are out most of the time you are tired from the prep that you don’t always stay out as late. But that’s why the break is so needed.
Planning a Break
We typically plan our break during the summer while my mother was out from school. But since she is retired, we don’t necessarily have to wait til then anymore. With his work schedule and the travel he has to do, I will say it’s easier for us to spend more time together during the summer. While she is away we try our best to go out, spend quality time together, and make the most of our time alone. We didn’t get a chance to do the married life before children like most. With us being parents first, we made her priority. But I’m here to tell you something. IF YOU DO NOT MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER, THAN IT HINDERS EVERYTHING.
I can tell the difference when we have time to focus on us. We are friendlier with each other, even after a long day. We tend to listen to each other more because we aren’t constantly being interrupted by a child not caring that we were talking; let alone reminding her to say excuse me and wait to be excused. It’s like being child-free opens up the gate for us to hone in on our relationship. I get to have my husband all to myself. I don’t have to share his attention with my child who loves her dad and wants to be with him. It’s OUR time together.
What to Do During the Break
We plan our dates accordingly. We don’t spend the month sitting around resting. Now I’m not saying we don’t catch up on sleep, but because we don’t have to worry about someone waking up early on weekend mornings and waking us up in the middle of the night. This past summer, we both had Nerf guns but this was our latest one. (well I had it, and he had to have it as well) And we would open fire randomly at each other. I went and bought a different ammo that would sting him a little more than the other. It’s things like this that we aren’t able to do while Bailey is her because she gets in the way. We can yell and scream and laugh, without the worry of her thinking we are arguing when we are just having a good time. Decisions can be made on whether we can go out with friends and eat foods that we don’t normally eat because we have to think about what she will eat.
We spend time it seems catching up even though there really isn’t anything to “catch up” on. We are constantly growing as people and as a couple. When you don’t slow down and really spend time to know where that is taking you, it can cause you to go different routes. Take small trips in your state or trips outside the state. There are plenty of sites that have date night ideas. Matter of fact The Dating Divas has a Marriage Master’s Program you can buy that strengthens your marriage, and plenty of freebie ideas for dates. They are categorized from at home dates to sexy dates to group dates. It’s years of dates on this site which takes the stress out. Some need more planning than others but they are all simple and easy to maneuver through.
From making cups to acting up..
Take your Time
Listen, a week without your child(ren) can seem like a lifetime. I promise it is well worth it. The first year we left Bailey I called several times a day to see what she was doing. SHE DID NOT WANT TO TALK TO ME! That let me know that she was fine with us being a married couple and spending time away from us. It also woke me up to the fact that we need our time together. Constantly worried about what she is doing isn’t giving the attention to my husband, which was the reason I sent her away.
Your spouse should know that they have your attention at times and to let the other issues that you deal with on a day-to-day go. This is the time to get into your spouse. I think this is the only time I actually ignore certain calls at times. It’s a healthy balance that we all need when we have children