Wedding season is approaching and I thought it would be a great time to help the grooms out just a little. Last year I had a post for the brides, 10 Wedding Tips for the Bride This day isn’t just about your bride, it’s your day as well. Be apart of it. Although most men don’t think about their wedding day as much as women do growing up, once they have found that one, they think about it. So here you go Groom, let’s have some fun!
1. Help With the Planning First thing I see some men do is run from the planning process. This day is about celebrating your joining in holy matrimony with your soon to be wife. 9 times out of 10, you proposed to her. So don’t just turn away and say your turn. Sure a lot of women know what they want on their wedding day.
If you decide to let her make the decisions that’s fine, BUT make sure you are helping with the details. She has wedding colors picked out, great. Help fine tune the colors when it comes to picking items out. Our colors were cobalt and Chartreuse, but it had to be the right ones. You can find cobalt in plenty of places, but it had to be the darker cobalt which was closer to navy. Chartreuse is like lime, let me tell you now it was very difficult. But different vendors may have the color but in a different name. THE DETAILS MATTER!! Help with planning.
2. Understand the Lingo
Just like any other industry, wedding/event planning has its on lingo and terms that you need to know. The Overwhelmed Bride has a great list for you to check out. It gives you terms that you may not know, or if you’ve heard them it gives clarity to what they mean. It takes a few minutes out of your day to understand what your fiancé may be going through when talking to vendors. So when she comes to you tell you what is happening, you actually understand instead of shaking your head pretending to.
3. Enjoy the Process
Most people only get one wedding, whether big of small. So enjoy the times of planning something special with the one you love. Embrace the stress that comes with planning a wedding as well. I look back now and of course I would do things differently, but I wouldn’t trade it in for the world. If done the right way, which is together it should bring you even closer before your wedding. Enjoy the taste testings, picking out china, building your registry, finding venues and vendors, and any other thing you can do together. You learn how the other handles certain situations and how to deal with each other when stress and anxiety comes into play.
4. Support Each Other
At the end of all of this it is just the two of you. Make sure that the planning and the day of is about you both getting what you want. Don’t allow too many people to know your plans because the more that know, the more opinions you will receive. Support her the most by reassuring her that this day will the best day because it’s the day that you become one. If there is an issue with children coming to the reception due to budget, have her back when your cousin wants to slide their child in and not find a babysitter. Or the new thing is to hire a sitter to watch the children in a different area so that everyone can attend. But don’t go back and say I don’t know why she acting like that, bring them and we will figure it out.
5. Groom+men= Groomsmen
Make sure these men are going to forever hold you down and accountable. Kwele wanted more groomsmen than I allotted. But I can say of the gentlemen that he decided on they are still his support system. Also make sure that the people of your choice understand that this isn’t a game. The wedding day should not be considered a Frat party or strip club, during the ceremony. If that’s what you and your fiance have decided on for the reception, that’s fine! These men are there to stand by you and support you from here on out whether they are married or not.
6. Don’t Become the Groomzilla
There are some men that have more say in their wedding than the brides. They go over the top and surpass being helpful, surpass being in the lead, and take over. For you gentleman I say the same thing I say to any woman, it is not just YOUR day! It’s OUR day! That’s really all I can give you with that.
If you and your bride have decided to write your own vows, make sure to take them serious. They should be written during a time when you both are on a natural high and completely in love with each other. Review them when you aren’t too happy with each other, and if they don’t make you feel that joy again START OVER! They should express how you feel verbally yet allowing those listening to your vows to feel it internally. You are coming before God to become one, let him hear what you would say if as if He was standing physically in front of you.
8. Wedding Day
Take the time to enjoy this day. Don’t allow anyone or anything to break your happiness. A lot of women have a lady-in-waiting, I would suggest you do the same. This is one that handles and puts out fires. A close friend that isn’t in the wedding or a family member is the perfect person for this position. They need to know what should or shouldn’t be around each other and keep them from causing a scene, making sure you stay on top of your timeline for the wedding, and making sure that you are having a great time is the greatest and best part of this job.
STICK TO YOUR BUDGET!!! Make sure that you both hold each other accountable and that you don’t go over!
10. Gift to Your Bride
I think gifts on the day of are the sweetest touch. They don’t have to be expensive, and some may not even cost you a dime. Just make sure that you send something over to her (your gentleman-in-waiting can take it) to let her know you are thinking about her and love her. A handwritten letter, a token from your first date or first trip, or diamond earrings are suggestions.
Weddings are one day, marriages are forever. Remember that this day is a celebration and a joining of the two of you becoming one. Treat it as such and you all should enjoy yourself.