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When was the last time you balanced your checkbook or bank account? You have a check and balance system for pretty much everything in life. SO when was the last time you stopped to check your debits and credits in your marriage? We sometimes get so caught up in what we or what our spouse isn’t doing that we forget to weigh what they are doing.
Debits
We are constantly on the go. We spend time making sure the house is running well. From making sure everyone eats to getting to their practices and games and recitals on time, we don’t stop until our body shuts down. I’m known for falling asleep while doing something if I stop and take a seat for a few moments. I recently fell asleep after I put Bailey in the bathtub. I woke up to check on her, sat back down and went right back to sleep. Ya’ll it was so sad.
As a married couple we are either going to work during the day to make sure the bills get paid or we are staying at home constantly cooking, cleaning, and making sure the house runs well. We try to make sure our spouses are taken care of as well. Making sure their needs and wants are being met. Whether it’s going out when you are tired, making sure that all “needs” are being met when you may not feel like it in the beginning, or even the smaller things like preparing their favorite meal. Although these are all things that can add to your marriage, they can be draining for some. Make sure that you are continuing to date your significant other. There is a constant that happens that if you aren’t careful will get you on a bit of a merry-go-round with life without any added joy.
Giving of yourself constantly and never putting anything back to replenish doesn’t work in your favor. Your debits can’t outweigh you credits. You have to make sure you don’t go in the “red”. Once you get in the red it’s harder to dig yourself back on top. You have to remember to make deposits into your life.
Credits
Direct deposit, cashing checks, depositing checks, adding to your savings, what are you doing to add value to your marriage? Are you spending time doing things alone to make you happy? What about doing things together that make you both happy? How often are you having date nights? We have to be mindful of what makes everyone happy. You may not like the exact same thing, but you are married or together so it’s something that brought you together that makes you happy and want to be around that person forever.
Make sure that you are trying to add more to life than what you taking away. As women we tend to be naggers. Try finding and trying to understand where he is coming from when he does or doesn’t do something. It may be something that you have asked him to do or something you feel that he should have done. In the same mouthful, men take a step back and think of everything that she does throughout the day and understand why she is so tired and doesn’t feel like doing something with you. Take time to relax with AND without each other. Make time for self-care, it’s so important.
A Balanced the Checkbook
Remembering not to give too much of self to the point that you are too drained to add credits to your life and marriage. But holding on to “too much money” doesn’t allow you to gain interest since it’s not in the “correct account”, you won’t be able to get a true return on your investment. In this case that investment is your marriage. When you take the time and look into your “checkbook” being balanced you have a better look at your big picture. You can tell whether or not you need to deposit or take away something. You can sit back and observe if you need to “save” time for each other.
So next time you have some time to just sit and reevaluate. Take time and do a check and balance of your marriage. Ask your spouse to do the same. Sit down and talk things through. You may just learn something about the other that you thought you knew and really didn’t know. It’ll be well worth it.