No I’m not pregnant! I’m sorry to disappoint so many of you that thought that’s where this was headed. What this will be about is the infamous debate of male and female roles. That’s right I’m going to tackle gender roles.
Society shapes so much of our lives these days. And gender roles are based off of society primarily. If society has accepted it, its pretty much law. The only thing that can go head to head with the thoughts of society on gender roles is religion. Wikipedia is like the next place that I search after google (or search google expecting Wiki to be the first on the lineup). It’s not a top reliable source for me for research or anything, but it always gives you somewhere to start. Wikipedia shares some ideas on this aspect for gender roles.
Let’s start with the obvious, the definition. So I went to http://google.com and typed in gender roles definition. The definition was “the role or behavior learned by a person as appropriate to their gender, determined by the prevailing cultural norms”. I will be the first to admit that gender roles in society are bull. There are some cases where I will say it does matter, but for the most part throw the entire debate out the window. Do what works for you and keep it moving.
Dating Gender Roles
While dating, I do feel that certain roles should come in the picture. For example, playing the role that you are interested in someone. Don’t think because I am a woman, I expect you to pay for all dates. Especially, if I’m the one asking you out. Although, I will expect you to act like a gentleman and open my door for me or pull out my seat. As a male, you should take the initiative to take the lead. But this also breaks into religious reasons for me.
Household gender roles
As for me and my house, we share responsibility. I can honestly say I have an amazing life partner that I get to call my husband that does everything to help around the house. Rather it be washing (which he takes care of), picking up Bailey from school, or cooking dinner on days that aren’t holidays or celebrations.
Although the man normally takes the “role” of financial provider, I will not allow him to work harder to pay or get something and I have the money to do so. I will say most of the time, he will not say a word to me until after he has figured out a way to make an expense that has come up work. We work together to make sure we have what we need AND want in our household. We typically try to out spoil the other, so those small things make the difference. If he does something around the house for me that I would normally do, or me taking his car and getting gas while I’m in it make us a team.
So yes, you know we are Christians. I do believe that my husband is the head of our household. By believing this, it is safe to say that I do believe in gender roles. At the same token, I believe it was a reason that God created woman from man’s rib. My husband is to lead our house, but with me at his side. We make decisions together that impact our lives. Him leading doesn’t mean its a Kunta Kinte putting a foot down and demanding what is going to be done type of relationship. It means I trust him and will follow where he leads our family.
Gender roles work for you
In the end, it’s what works for you. Don’t allow society, family, etc. to set up roles that work for you and your life. Know what role you want to play, and you would like your significant other to play as well. You both agree to those terms and you do you! Others don’t have to understand it, although they will watch from the outside continuously! Be happy, because Honey, Baby, it’s Life!